Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
