I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
