Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
