Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
