real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
