They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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