did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
