Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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