who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
