is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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