He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
