Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Randomize
