i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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