I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
