That's intense
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
