WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
