TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
