Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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