can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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