Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
