im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
