Don't EVER smell your tampon
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dicks are not precious.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
