Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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