he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
