my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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