Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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