Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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