think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
