Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
