six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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