I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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