I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When did angry sex become our thing?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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