Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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