The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
