Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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