Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
