So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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