Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
