I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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