At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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