Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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