Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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