kristin has been a bad kristin
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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