All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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