dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
