I molested 6 butterflies tonight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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