Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
