i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
