I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
this is an emotional support booty call
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
