Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
