i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
