From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
A+ Viking dick
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
